Words to inspire

Name: Soo Xuan(23)
Title: Words to inspire
Author: Cynthia Dermody
Origin: June 08 Readers Digest Page 53 ~ 57

This article is about how to communicate effectively with kids. Some praises or common words no matter how well-intended can do a lot of emotional and psychological harm to young brains which are still developing through the teen years. They cannot expect words, context and sarcasm the way adult’s brain does.

In the article there is a twelve years old boy, CJ. CJ‘s team had lost a match, however he did quite well scoring every single one of his team’s 24 points. He thought that he will hear his family waiting in bleachers saying he was awesome or things like way to hustle for all those points. Instead CJ’s aunt said, “Now, if you could just help your team-mates play as well as you do, you guys would be unstoppable!” This was meant as a compliment; however, CJ thought it was meant as a comment. He was agitated when he did not receive any compliments he had expected from his family members. On the other hand, his aunt could not understand the reaction just when he had finished showering him with praises.

The article has seven common phrases that could get message across in a better way. One example is when a child wanted to buy something like a video game or a doll when he or she already have one at home. An adult might say they can’t afford that. The message that gets across to their child will be money is the answer for everything. It’s true that a child may not need another video game or doll at home, however by repeatedly saying money is the only reason he cannot get what he wanted, it may be sending the message that money is the source of all things good in life. There is a better way to say it like” the stored is filled with great things today, but we’ve got lots at home already and we’re not going to bring home anything more.” I think that adult should care more about the child feeling. Like when a child wanted to buy something unnecessary, for example a toy, which may be cheaper than a necessary thing such as laptop which an older child wanted. An adult would buy for the older sibling instead of the young one. The younger one will think that you are biased when the message you get across to them is money is everything. However on the other hand, an adult should also not agree to buy everything a child wanted. This will be giving them too much luxury in a material way. In another words, an adult will allow their child to be spoiled, they will not get the meaning or excess and gratitude this way. In my opinion, I think a child should learn to save and be thriftier when they are young. Adults could teach them to put money in a piggy bank or ways similar, they could also be role model themselves. When they child gets older, it becomes a habit, and by that time you could talk more about finances matters to them. As a child, I think we should understand what our parent wanted us to understand.

Another example given in the article is adults will always say “don’t talk to strangers.” This is meant as a care and concern for their child, but the child may think that anyone you don’t know is trying to hurt you. Teens nowadays talking to strangers are common sight especially since the technology makes the world smaller. They could talk to people they never met before however it might not be that they are in danger. In fact we do talk to strangers everyday, for example in a supermarket. I think that parents are afraid that children talking to stranger mainly are because they often see news about children being kidnapped or other crimes concerning children. However come to think of it, there are also cases whereby children are being kidnapped by people as close as their relatives. In opinion, I think that parents should allow children the freedom to talk to anyone they wanted, however parents should warn them not to talk to people who make them uncomfortable and must inform them if such cases happens. As a child, I do talk to strangers but I should be aware who we should talk or who we should avoid.

Furthermore, I do not think that adult should worry too much if a child does not understand your meaning. Be patient and try and explain it to them in a more suitable manner.